Five Reasons Why FIFA will ultimately prevent soccer from being "The world's game" in America + WC Complaints!

The World Cup groups stages are over, and 4 round of 16 games have already been played... however, these matches were not without controversy. So without further ado, here are my complaints about the world cup, and reasons FIFA will prevent soccer from being "the world's game" in America. 


Reason number one:

Soccer vs. Football

Will the name argument ever end? No, and this is one very obvious reason soccer will never truly be a huge sport in America. It's obvious we have the NFL and because of that, soccer may will not ever be referred to as football, despite the scientific fact that feet are used more in soccer. The fact that America will not refer to Soccer as "Football" is not a big deal, though and I think most Americans realize that. The rest of the world however, (minus Australia, of course) needs to realize that America cannot (and will not) refer to soccer as Football. Once the petty arguments about the "real" name of the game stop, soccer can move on it's way towards being a more popular sport in America.

Complaint number one:

Sepp Blatter

Look at him. He's practically the penguin. (photo by AP)

Complaints? Sepp Blatter? Too many to blog about, but here's the gist of it: He's against the introduction of goal line technology, despite the fact that EVERY other major sport in the history of sports has at least one form of replay. He personally made sure the vuvuzela stayed at the world cup. And finally, he has no problems with cheaters in the world cup (see France v Ireland).

Complaint number two:

Terrible decisions by refereeing crews*

Look, I hate blaming referees as much as the next guy. Mainly because I referee soccer games quite a bit. You have to be in top shape to even think about being able to keep up with the flow of the game, not to mention have your eyes on the players, entire field, and AR's. It's probably the hardest game to referee, but all that aside, there were several calls that were just plain terrible.

Phantom Foul? Offside? We may ever know.

 

Handball? Even the "Hand of god" criticized it, but only because everyone laughed afterward.

FIFA Law 15-2010-USA states "if the USA have a chance of looking decent, the referee may disallow a goal if needed"

 

Even the German keeper, doing his best mid-air dolphin impression knew it was a goal.

You don't need to be German to understand this terrible call, or lack thereof.

You know it's bad when I argue that Lampard's goal for England vs. Germany should have counted (revenge of 66?) and that a goal against Mexico shouldn't have counted. Like Sepp Blatter, the referees could have more than enough complaints to fill up a blog post, however I'll just stick with these five as they are some of the most obvious.

Reason Number Two:

Koman Coulibaly

The world's utmost authority on half awake refereeing, Coulibaly put Mali on the map, but not the good map. (Photo © international hazma)

It's never a good idea to take anything that will make you drowsy before a match, but that didn't stop Coulibaly. Now, one may argue we didn't need the goal to advance... To which I would reply, "One does not need eyes to read, so give Koman yours. He NEEDS them." This guy was probably the worst and most influential referee so far this tournament, despite the number of referees who wrongly sent off players in other matches. But don't expect his mistake to keep Koman out of future world cups, much less the Cup of African Nations. Sepp Blatter likes this guy too much, no matter how many mistakes he makes. Referees like Koman are a huge reason people just starting to watch soccer will turn away. Bad calls in big name sports don't turn most fans away, but with soccer, a not-so-popular sport in the U.S., calls like this could ruin the game's reputation for life.

Reason/Complaint number three:

The Vuvuzela

Hey look, it's a vuvuzela party! (no homo?)

Vuvuzelas: Traditional African instrument. Weapon. AnnoyiBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

And that's it... Only five total complaints and reasons? Yes, but only because I'm sticking with the major ones. Any I forgot? Just add them in the comments. Oh, and the actual number of complaints/reasons I put in this blog is unknown to me. I'm too lazy to count. Sorry.

A Few Changes, or The First blog of the year.

Well, it's pretty much been a year with no blogs. I apologize. I really do like blogging short stories/Fake news/A serious blog every now and then, but there's just one problem. I can't just do that. So, to keep my attention and yours, I'm making a few changes. Here they are:

• I'll be adding pictures and logos I design on the computer. You'll probably like them. If not, they're still probably going on this blog.
• Less short stories/Fake news, but no more serious blogs. The internet is not my favorite place to debate, much less on a blog like this.. I might start a serious blog at a later time for stuff like that.
• I'll try and do more "Tales from the Oven" but no promises. (I have two "tales" potentially in the works.)
• Music reviews? Maybe. If anyone responds.
• And Finally, FIFA World Cup 2010 Complaints. I'm going to have them, so why not blog them so you can agree with me?*

If you have any ideas, let me know and I'll think about it.


*I might have no complaints. Keyword might. The USMNT has to win it for that to happen.

Merry Soon-to-be Christmas

Merry Christmas, and a happy new year.




That's all I'll blog about for now, which is more than I have in probably a year. Hooray!

Seeing as I never blog anymore,

I'm thinking I'm just going to get rid of my blog. I just don't write as much as I used to.

Grammar VS.The Internet: The war that will last forever.

Grammar Versus the Internet
or
The Neverending War, Pt. I


Epilogue

Few things last forever, and everyone knows that. But the lack of grammar on the internet, if left uncorrected, could last forever. One simply has to look on "Facebook", "Myspace", or the ultimate offender, a website that throws grammar out the window like William Shatner once threw caution to the wind, "I can has cheezburger". Five minutes on any of the following sites reveals one obvious thing; Grammar has no home on the internet. In this Weblog of mine, I will strategically break down my talking points into three small sections. Read with caution, as one may be offended when I go though the errors of many made on the internet.

Mine is Mine; Yours is yours, and you're is not what your thinking causes you believe it is.

The most popular mistake one can make is believing that the word 'your' is the same as "you're", the contraction for you are. It is not the same. If one would simply remember what they learned in school over a period of about 10+ years, they would avoid this mistake. The word 'your' is possessive, and should only be used in sentences dealing with possession, not actions. The word you're is quite underused, as the word your often replaces it. How would one feel if they were replaced by something that didn't do the same job? Rejected, of course. So the next time one writes a sentence, think. The word "you're", not "your" should be used to simplify "you are". To recap, it's simple:

• Your ≠ You're.
• See above.

They're having fun over there with their new favorite contraction, "they're".

Pretty much the same as above. They're ≠ there ≠ their. The word "they're" is used to denote a group of something doing something, the word "there" is meant to denote a location, and finally the word "their" is used in possessive sentences. In review:

• They're ≠ there ≠ their.
• You probably thought I'd say "See Above"
• You're right in thinking that, See Above.

Spelling Errors Come Easily, but Firefox with Spell Check is Easier.

It's as simple as these three steps:

1. Download Firefox here, then install it.
2. See above. It's that simple, and Firefox has a built in Spell Checker.

En Revisar.

Using Spanish in any sentence can confuse the average person, and one can always have fun with that. Fun aside, I'm entirely kidding about this whole blog. This is just what happens when I'm bored. But seriously people, take my advice. At least, the simplified advice(anything that had the phrase "See above" with it).

The End.

John McCain Picks Cardinals to Win Super Bowl; Dems Claim Victory After Game "Just For Fun"

TAMPA BAY, FL- In what some are calling one of the lamest possible things the Democrats can do to rub John McCain's loss in his face, the Democrats claimed Victory yet again Sunday night- Because McCain picked the Cards to win. President Obama held a press conference that night to congratulate the Steelers for "sort of doing the same thing I did". Joe Biden, though uninvited, also made an appearance only to say that he "wanted the Cards to win too, because he thought Kurt Warner reminded him of himself and the team reminded him of Barack..." when asked what he meant, he went on to say "Joe Biden is like Kurt Warner... I'm leading an inexperienced team in the big game... er sorry folks, my mouth is like a train: it starts going, and can't be stopped".
Joe later left the conference, only to find Barack didn't like a word he said. Other Democrats were asked what they thought as well, with Hilary Clinton saying "it was a great game..." and "I should probably get some terrible towels too for when I'm president". Her husband Bill thought it was a good game as well, and that the cheerleaders did a great job cheering the team on. It was also reported he later called both franchises to find out how to get them for Hilary's next campaign, because "She always needs people to cheer her on". My sources thought for a minute or so about whether or not to ask Nancy Pelosi for her opinion of the game, but they quickly realized she would just take the opportunity to talk about pass "protection", rather than the actual game.

In other news, former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich went legally insane after cops wouldn't arrest him for "illegally trying to sell Super Bowl XLIII seats for the right price". Turns out, he finally did something that is worthy of the words "legally" and "selling" in the same sentence.

W Approves New Economical Bailout Before His Term Is Over

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Bush, in some of his final days in office has approved yet another bailout deal for Wall Street. Sources say however, that this bailout won't cost as much. It is projected Bush authorized a plan that would only use 943,000 Dollars. The cheap plan, which has congressmen and women scratching their heads, will be enacted on January 13, 2009. It is described as "The fight for Wall Street" or as others say, "La Lucha por la Calle de Pared" and it involves one bull, and one bear. Un toro, un oso. The plan calls for the bear and the bull to battle it out just four miles away from Wall Street, at Brooklyn Tech High School's football field. The original plan called for Madison Square Garden, but they later decided it was too far away. It goes on to say the winner will decide the fate of our economy, so let's hope the bull wins. PETA will no doubt protest the economic plans, as it involves violence between two animals, but staunch repubrocrats will be quick to cite the newly approved Dubya Doesn't Care Act of Late 2008, which states W can ignore PETA if he wants. Sources say the recently approved act was secretly added into a government contract with The Scooter Store© which would give all employees "Freedom Scooters" once they retired. If W decides to use the DDCA, democrats would likely protest, saying it is unconstitutional. This might delay the Economic plans, but it will not end them; President elect Barack Obama once used a similar plan to prevent ACORN from going bankrupt. In ACORN's case, president elect Obama apparently chose squirrels and chipmunks, due to their fondness of acorns. When asked to comment on it, all he said was this: "Now look .... That was a long time ago ... and it worked ... so I don't see a problem with it." When Sen. John McCain, former presidential candidate was asked what he thought, he simply said "I see no problem with that. In fact, I hope the squirrel won... because what the democrats don't want you to know is that most squirrels are republican".
Preparations for the plan to be enacted will start in December, around Christmas. Official merchandise for the fight will start selling on Black Friday, and all proceeds will go to ... well ... bail us out. I'm pretty sure that's a good cause.


DirecTv and Dish will have pay per view coverage of the fight, but it is rumored that cable viewers will not be able to watch it, due to ESPN deciding to shift the fight to ESPN360. Though Verizon, AT&T, and some Charter Communications customers usually recieve ESPN360 there are scheduled blackouts in those areas, on that exact day, once again proving ESPN is the Colonel Klink of cable television.