Seeing as I never blog anymore,

I'm thinking I'm just going to get rid of my blog. I just don't write as much as I used to.

Grammar VS.The Internet: The war that will last forever.

Grammar Versus the Internet
or
The Neverending War, Pt. I


Epilogue

Few things last forever, and everyone knows that. But the lack of grammar on the internet, if left uncorrected, could last forever. One simply has to look on "Facebook", "Myspace", or the ultimate offender, a website that throws grammar out the window like William Shatner once threw caution to the wind, "I can has cheezburger". Five minutes on any of the following sites reveals one obvious thing; Grammar has no home on the internet. In this Weblog of mine, I will strategically break down my talking points into three small sections. Read with caution, as one may be offended when I go though the errors of many made on the internet.

Mine is Mine; Yours is yours, and you're is not what your thinking causes you believe it is.

The most popular mistake one can make is believing that the word 'your' is the same as "you're", the contraction for you are. It is not the same. If one would simply remember what they learned in school over a period of about 10+ years, they would avoid this mistake. The word 'your' is possessive, and should only be used in sentences dealing with possession, not actions. The word you're is quite underused, as the word your often replaces it. How would one feel if they were replaced by something that didn't do the same job? Rejected, of course. So the next time one writes a sentence, think. The word "you're", not "your" should be used to simplify "you are". To recap, it's simple:

• Your ≠ You're.
• See above.

They're having fun over there with their new favorite contraction, "they're".

Pretty much the same as above. They're ≠ there ≠ their. The word "they're" is used to denote a group of something doing something, the word "there" is meant to denote a location, and finally the word "their" is used in possessive sentences. In review:

• They're ≠ there ≠ their.
• You probably thought I'd say "See Above"
• You're right in thinking that, See Above.

Spelling Errors Come Easily, but Firefox with Spell Check is Easier.

It's as simple as these three steps:

1. Download Firefox here, then install it.
2. See above. It's that simple, and Firefox has a built in Spell Checker.

En Revisar.

Using Spanish in any sentence can confuse the average person, and one can always have fun with that. Fun aside, I'm entirely kidding about this whole blog. This is just what happens when I'm bored. But seriously people, take my advice. At least, the simplified advice(anything that had the phrase "See above" with it).

The End.

John McCain Picks Cardinals to Win Super Bowl; Dems Claim Victory After Game "Just For Fun"

TAMPA BAY, FL- In what some are calling one of the lamest possible things the Democrats can do to rub John McCain's loss in his face, the Democrats claimed Victory yet again Sunday night- Because McCain picked the Cards to win. President Obama held a press conference that night to congratulate the Steelers for "sort of doing the same thing I did". Joe Biden, though uninvited, also made an appearance only to say that he "wanted the Cards to win too, because he thought Kurt Warner reminded him of himself and the team reminded him of Barack..." when asked what he meant, he went on to say "Joe Biden is like Kurt Warner... I'm leading an inexperienced team in the big game... er sorry folks, my mouth is like a train: it starts going, and can't be stopped".
Joe later left the conference, only to find Barack didn't like a word he said. Other Democrats were asked what they thought as well, with Hilary Clinton saying "it was a great game..." and "I should probably get some terrible towels too for when I'm president". Her husband Bill thought it was a good game as well, and that the cheerleaders did a great job cheering the team on. It was also reported he later called both franchises to find out how to get them for Hilary's next campaign, because "She always needs people to cheer her on". My sources thought for a minute or so about whether or not to ask Nancy Pelosi for her opinion of the game, but they quickly realized she would just take the opportunity to talk about pass "protection", rather than the actual game.

In other news, former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich went legally insane after cops wouldn't arrest him for "illegally trying to sell Super Bowl XLIII seats for the right price". Turns out, he finally did something that is worthy of the words "legally" and "selling" in the same sentence.

W Approves New Economical Bailout Before His Term Is Over

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Bush, in some of his final days in office has approved yet another bailout deal for Wall Street. Sources say however, that this bailout won't cost as much. It is projected Bush authorized a plan that would only use 943,000 Dollars. The cheap plan, which has congressmen and women scratching their heads, will be enacted on January 13, 2009. It is described as "The fight for Wall Street" or as others say, "La Lucha por la Calle de Pared" and it involves one bull, and one bear. Un toro, un oso. The plan calls for the bear and the bull to battle it out just four miles away from Wall Street, at Brooklyn Tech High School's football field. The original plan called for Madison Square Garden, but they later decided it was too far away. It goes on to say the winner will decide the fate of our economy, so let's hope the bull wins. PETA will no doubt protest the economic plans, as it involves violence between two animals, but staunch repubrocrats will be quick to cite the newly approved Dubya Doesn't Care Act of Late 2008, which states W can ignore PETA if he wants. Sources say the recently approved act was secretly added into a government contract with The Scooter Store© which would give all employees "Freedom Scooters" once they retired. If W decides to use the DDCA, democrats would likely protest, saying it is unconstitutional. This might delay the Economic plans, but it will not end them; President elect Barack Obama once used a similar plan to prevent ACORN from going bankrupt. In ACORN's case, president elect Obama apparently chose squirrels and chipmunks, due to their fondness of acorns. When asked to comment on it, all he said was this: "Now look .... That was a long time ago ... and it worked ... so I don't see a problem with it." When Sen. John McCain, former presidential candidate was asked what he thought, he simply said "I see no problem with that. In fact, I hope the squirrel won... because what the democrats don't want you to know is that most squirrels are republican".
Preparations for the plan to be enacted will start in December, around Christmas. Official merchandise for the fight will start selling on Black Friday, and all proceeds will go to ... well ... bail us out. I'm pretty sure that's a good cause.


DirecTv and Dish will have pay per view coverage of the fight, but it is rumored that cable viewers will not be able to watch it, due to ESPN deciding to shift the fight to ESPN360. Though Verizon, AT&T, and some Charter Communications customers usually recieve ESPN360 there are scheduled blackouts in those areas, on that exact day, once again proving ESPN is the Colonel Klink of cable television.

Fun With Flashbacks, Part IV or How I somewhat cheat with a blog that's not really new.

I know what you're thinking. I've never done a Fun With Flashbacks blog, much less three of them. And you're right. The only reason this is part four is due to the Back to the Future Trilogy(which has nothing to do with my blog, it was more out of precaution.) Anyway, due to the economnomnomic crisis going on, I'm recycling editing my first blog. It does nothing for the environment, nor does it do anything to help me economically, I just like to say I told you so. Thus I give you my unequivocally recycled editor's cut blog.


Preface
June 3, 2008. It's around 2:40 and I had nothing to do. Nothing to do but blog. And so I did. For a whole 20 minutes or so, I sat in an office chair furiously writing and poorly photoshopping away on a blog I didn't really expect anyone to read. Well maybe I expected a few friends, but I pretty much figured everyone would just skim through it or ignore it as a load of bull. Some read it, some commented it (on myspace), and some did nothing (I don't blame them). It wasn't a sucess or close to being one, and I doubt it will ever be a sucess until america actually listens to me. Which might never happen, but I digress.

Parts One, and Two Merged for this Special Edition
A proposal for a solution to the end of America's debt, or "How I think we wasted money" or a totally recycled edited title from my first blog.
Getting straight to the subject, we waste pennies, dimes, nickels, and quarters. A man once said "A penny saved, is a penny earned". That man, also known as Benjamin Franklin, knew what he was talking about. If he didn't, I don't think he'd be on the 100 dollar bill. You see, America is in debt. Lots O' Debt. Why? I don't know.... Oh wait, I do know. It's the pennies, and all sorts of other change that we drop. And a few other major minor reasons, but for my sake I won't get into that.
In my first blog, I suggested we start a penny/dime/nickel saving commission. It could have a commercial, with a catchy phrase. I also said if America doesn't start now, we'll start down the long forgotten road of no coin change. And that it would not be fun on 99 cent taco Tuesdays for most of us. Sad thing is, I believe we're dead close to that fun-free taco-less future.

So what do we do? Simple. Save like no tomorrow. Forget tossing that penny into a wishing well wishing for a million dollars. If I had a penny for everytime someone did that, I'd have a million dollars. But I don't get a penny for that, so you can stop wishing. Plus, as I pointed out in the first blog, there are serious repercussions from throwing change into wells, rivers, and other places fish live. See Part two of said blog for more info: http://timducoteforpresidentoftheworld.blogspot.com/2008/06/proposal-for-solution-to-end-of.html

So as you can see, as I end this due to a general want to end it like I did the first blog- There is one true point that rings throughout like a bell symbolizing freedom rings. If America would just pick up their pocket change, I dare say we wouldn't be in debt. I also dare say I wouldn't have to write this.

Barack Obama Writing 4th Book; Sources Say it Is His Autobiography

CHICAGO, Illinois- Presidential candidate Barack Obama is at it again. No, not attacking his opponent John McCain, or upsetting the Hillians (crazy followers of Hilary Clinton). Barack Obama is writing a book. Sources say after the presidential debate held at University of Mississippi, Barack felt like he wanted to write again. And he did. The book, an autobiography, will be called Let Me Be Clear: The Barack Obama Story. When asked why he started writing so close to the end of the presidential campaigns, he said "Look... It's quite simple really,... it makes for a great ending when I'm president, and if by some odd chance I lose... it's still a great story". The book has a tenative schedule, but according to a reliable source, it is scheduled to come out November 6, Just two days after the final day to vote for the next President of the U.S.
John McCain was asked about it yesterday, and he welcomed it saying "If Obama wants to write an autobiography, that's great. That's American. I only hope all the profits go back to the tax paying citizens of America who had to put up with his pork barrel spending he's done in the past. Just look at his voting record...". His comments of course caused a response from Obama, with the Obama Camp issuing a press statement today saying "What my opponent was saying is simply not true. I am now opposed to pork barreled spending, and he knows it. So, um.. yeah." The McCain Camp didn't respond back, they just laughed and maverickly smiled like they had accomplished something. Interestingly enough, sources say Ron Paul also issued a statement today saying he was "offended that his opinion on the matter wasn't asked... This is nothing new, I mean the media's done this to me since day one... Thank God the internet is my friend, they'd ask me what I thought". Since then 11 blogs and counting now have his opinion on the matter.

You can pre-order Barack Obama's autobiography Let Me Be Clear: The Barack Obama Story
from Books-A-Zillion here.

Alice 96.1 Gone Missing; Research Shows CERN to Blame

FRANCO-SWISS BORDER, EUROPE AND SURPRISINGLY ALSO MONTGOMERY, AL- As most people who read the news know, the Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire or CERN, recently started using it's Large Hadron Collider. The LHC sparked many arguments over the past week, with many thinking it could end the world. Some CERN workers even received death threats in the mail because of it. But what many don't know, is that CERN is the reason Alice 96. 1 is gone. You see, Alice is an acronym for A Large Ion Collider Experiment, and is one of the four main points on the LHC. Sources say in early the 2000's, CERN needed a place outside of Europe to keep ALICE, and they chose Montgomery, Al. French officials deemed it safe in Montgomery because "it was in a different country, and Alabama of all places" In cooperation with local officials, they hid ALICE at a local radio station, known as KISS FM at the time. KISS FM was then changed to Alice 96.1, with local and international officials rightfully thinking no one would suspect a thing. While CERN was building the rest of the Large Hadron Collider, Alice 96.1 was gaining popularity in Central Alabama. It wasn't until late august of 2008 that CERN actually needed ALICE back, and that's when Alice 96.1 slowly started the Emergency Name Plan Act of 2000. The owners of 96.1 came up with this plan shortly after France gave them ALICE, and chose the name "Q 96.1". The name is based off of a French phrase "Quelque Part" meaning "somewhere", and is the owner's way of saying that name was somewhere, just not here anymore.


I do however think I speak for the entire city of Montgomery(or maybe 3/4... 1/2... 1/4... or maybe just 3 people) when I say what kind of name is Q? Seriously.