The Economical and Sociopolitical Effects of Texting One's Brother.

The Economical and Socio-Political Effects of Texting One's Brother

Or as one might say in a different Country,

Der Economic Effekt der Fischschwimmens während auf Feuer

A Well researched Paper(hint hint) By: Tim Ducote

To start off my paper, I would just like to elaborate why one would write such a paper of useless proportions. The answer is and will always be, "One writes these sort of papers for educational institutions. There is no other need for such a topic; Only The Man would make one write about such a thing."

Now that I've gotten 57 words out of the way, on to the other four hundred and forty three.


Part One
How I eloquently show you the ecoNOMNOMNOMical effects of texting one's brother

One might think finding the economical effects of a simple text these days is hard; that is simply not the case. At the moment, America is in slightly hard economic times. The dollar is at record lows to the pound, euro, Canadian dollar, and yes, even to a Charmin® Mega Roll square(used by some countries as Currency... Or at least it could be, it's so dang thick.)
Texting on average costs about four cents per text, so deductively speaking, if one were to send five texts in one day, that's twenty cents. And as we all know, that's one shiny Jefferson coin away from a shiny Washington coin with one's favorite state on the back(My favorite is Louisiana, it has a pelican on it.) But how is twenty cents anything close to an ecoNOMNOMNOMical effect? If one simply does a currency exchange, it is easy to see. But in case whoever is reading this doesn't usually carry a copy of Idiot's guide to currency exchange whilst reading something absolutely preposterous I have a table available on photobucket, here for you. So, as one can see, it is quite an economnomnomical toll on one's pocket book. I believe a caption for an LOLcats picture on this subject would say "im in ur pocketbook, nomming ur currencees"

Part Two
Where I show you the Socio-Political effects of this all, or as most people would think "How I learned to ruin and fix a political argument on a social networking site like Facebook within one day. w00t!"

What does Socio-Political mean, anyways? I think it's safe to say that as much as we'd like, it isn't a word to describe Hilary Clinton(or insert disliked politician here _______) as a sociopathic political godzilla. No, Socio-Political does in fact mean "An interpretation of art history which takes into account social and political factors." according to the "www.arts.auckland.ac.nz/ahist/arthist111/glossary/index.htm" website, which I can confidently say sounds quite reliable thanks to the "arthist111" line(sounds like a college class to me!). Now how does this apply to my everyday life? The answer is prank texts. Few people know that pranking is in fact an art. The art of messing with other people till they go crazy, to be precise.
If one goes and looks at the currency table again, it is easy to find the following things to happen.
Here's just a few:

• Congress would go mad if they ever started texting each other, causing political uproar; this would be bad.
• Idk, no moar txting my bff 4 art hstry info cuz it costs so much, kthx?
• and the list goes on...

Because pranking costs the "prankee" so much, if ever discovered it is economically unsafe to even think about how to pay for it. To be even more precise, it would be like when Tom Hicks and George Gillet had a £350m refinance plan that almost no fan hoped would happen. One wouldn't want to be in that situation, most likely wishing one had just watched that rerun of Star Trek instead(But we all know Kirk pranked the Klingons every now and then, eh?).
Now I realize I've only talked about the economical and political points. The social points are not much at all, really. Plain and simple, if the current economic state continues, prank texting will cost too much. That is unless you don't mind losing money and property to pay for it.

How most would react to the loss of items from prank texting*:
Loss: No cable TV.
Reaction: "No biggy, no biggy... UEFA Champions League will be missed"
Loss: No internet.
Reaction: "Oh well, back to snail mail."
Loss: Money(the Pink Floyd single 45 record).
Reaction: "Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash..."
Loss: Money, as in one's cash.
reaction: "Well there went gas for my car for social events... My utilities, making me a hermit... Food money, well I'm gone from society fo sho now..."

*Note, these are NOT my personal reactions.

So thusly, and furthermore, as one can see these are the economical and socio-political effects of texting one's brother. From my own experience, I have learned it is not the smartest idea. I will leave the judgment of that however, to the reader. But trust me, I'm right on this. Quoth the Tim, Nevermore.






Sources:
Google search with "define:" added for word meanings.
Info on state quarters: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/State_quarters
All currency conversion except CMR: www.xe.com/ucc
Info on GBP and how I got the squiggly L with a line through it(£): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pound_sterling
Info on LOLcats: http://icanhascheezburger.com
Additional crud provided by the person who runs www.myspace.com/ska_avenger, and this blog.

Thanks to Edgar Allen Poe for the nevermore line I threw on at the end, it adds a good dramatic effect and allows me to use more than one word that ends in "more" within the paragraph.